so close but so far away

once upon a time, not so long ago
I had a friend that I held so dear.
but now that time is gone and I am low,
I’ve ruined another friendship, I fear.

maybe time will heal and things will change
but why in the world would it be fixed
when I am always like a tiger in a cage
and my emotions create such a deadly mix.

once again, a once close friend
will hold me only at a distance
rather than risk it all in the end
and talk to me with only resistance.

I came so close, but am so far away
from keeping someone happy and content.
I stare in that damned looking glass in gray
and see the storm brewing again, I lament.

Why do I do this and keep up the hurt?
Why do I insist on trying day after day,
only to fuck it up again and revert?
Why do I always seem so close but so far away?

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