Why Can’t I?

Why can’t I be ‘normal’ and like everyone else?
Why do I insist on being so damned different?
Why can’t I take a number, get in line and sit on a shelf?
Why can’t I be just another piece of fading parchment?

I’m so tired of  this life, I’m so tired of being me…
I want to die and start again to be accepted and loved.
I hate that I drag those I love to the dark sea,
to walk my plank and be given a shove.

Into the maelstrom that is me do they fall,
to drown in aggravation and worry and cause.
The swirling mass that is my broken soul
brings them down and slowly suffocates them all.

The crows fly overhead and loudly caw,
disguising the screams of those below.
As the whirlpool subsides, I begin to hide
all that is within me and I recover slow.

The sun breaks through the clouds
and I smile trying to not be me…
But deep down I know that I will break forth
and the hurricane will well up again in me…

…and make those I love most suffocate forevermore.


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