I’m stuck (blog not poem)
Why is it that I can’t get my head out of the swirling black hole that is enveloping me? I know that there is a life I want that will never exist, but I just can’t seem to let go of that little flicker, that little chance in hell, that one day all I dream will come true. I hate every part of my being and imagine myself in this other life the way I want to exist and look and feel – maybe that is why I just won’t let go… if I remain in this life as I am today, then I’ll be sick and miserable until the end of my short days… I imagine that if I can attain this other life, I’ll somehow be magically transformed into this being that is in tune with everyone and everything around her, someone that is healthy – someone that is happy.
And so I end this blog now. I’ll have that tickle in the back of my screwed up head and scarred heart until the end of my short days.