Opening the wrong door

I sit and I ponder and wonder,
what should I do with this impulse?
I have an urge strong as thunder
that pounds in my heart and pulse!

Savage is the overwhelming privation
that I reach out for two star fires
but they are forever in obfuscation;
however, they remain Icons of my Desire.

I wish to hurt no one any more
and fear opening the wrong door.
I have always been a tortured soul,
a broken heart, so my choice is clear.

I must open neither door to them
and keep my heart encased in ice.
This near impossible task is no gem
and I am filled with fear and vice.

I wake with every dream,
and think of those two men…
and how I can not ever seem
to forget and move on from them.


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