Archive for May, 2009


Posted in Poetry of Life on May 23, 2009 by Blood Red

The morning began with the sun shining bright.
Then the clouds moved in, squeezing out the light.

We watched through the window as the rain began to fall;
but there was no sorrow in our hearts as the puddles began to call!

We ran outside, without umbrellas or raincoats or shoes on our feet!
We jumped in those puddles and twirled and danced to the rain’s beat…

With a beautiful day,  such as today, why should anyone want to complain
that the sun is hiding and the clouds are playing in the sky once again?

The ripples in the puddles double as we dance and play;
we are loving this time together and this beautiful day!



Our Lovely Rosa

Posted in Poetry of Life on May 20, 2009 by Blood Red

Rosa was born as a brazen rosebud;
born into the wintery, cold and dead.
With crystal blue eyes and golden hair
she was brought here to melt the ice and snow.

Full of promise and hope for change
she tried to bloom for those she loves.
Everyday she wakes and aims
to make them happier than the doves.

But as the seasons passed slowly by,
her innocence began to fall-
as the crackling and fallen leaves fly
to autumn’s cold ground’s embrace.

Those she loves and adores
fill her with fear and dread.
She is made suffer all the gore
that a sickly mind imagines in his head.

Just when she reaches up toward help,
she is still left alone, cold and hurt;
she feels ashamed and is made to think
that she is the one to blame.

She feels no other choice than to repeat
word for word what they want her to believe.
Deep inside her breaking heart and soul
is the truth buried in the blackest of coal.

She walks a fine line, and is on thin ice!
She lives her tortured life
filled with fear and made to hate;
made to balance on the double edge knife.

She is tossed back and forth and around
until she is dizzy and doesn’t know what’s real;
all she knows is that hate and struggle abound.
She is left alone to deal with what she feels.

It has fallen winter again in cold gusts,
she stands bare against the wind and snow.
She has to fend for herself at her tender age.
What her future holds is not something I know.

A rose in the winter shrivels and hides,
but rises again in the spring, fresh and anew.
This is my prayer I lift high to God
that our lovely Rosa’s Spring is near.


Posted in Poetry of Life on May 20, 2009 by Blood Red

I find myself waiting and thinking,
of you and what you will say to me.
I cannot stop myself from dreaming
of what  someday may possibly be.

But I know this is will not be true
as I am the one who is restraining.
I must keep my mind out of muse
and remember what I’m doing.

I cannot help that you that remain
closely in my bleeding heart,
in between the stitches and scars
tickling and tempting that desire.

I still await for your call, response;
forever drawn to your soul.
You have me completely ensconced
and I do not wish to leave your fold.

You are my dream, my wish;
my out-of-reach forever pulling,
tugging and waxing and waning,
You are my blue obsession!

Happy for a change

Posted in Poetry of Life on May 20, 2009 by Blood Red

I, at this particular moment,
am contented and satisfied;
if you will believe me for now,
that I am happy for a change!

The sun is out shining brightly,
the birds are chirping and singing!
I can hear mowers run outside,
signaling that springs is back!

My worries have melted and slid away
and my aches and pains have lifted.
I am surrounded by those that love me
and those that will hold me dear.

I embrace this lovely and loving moment
and keep it close to me in my heart;
for I love this day of cheerful levity
and hold you all in my heart and my soul!

Opening the wrong door

Posted in Poetry of Life on May 16, 2009 by Blood Red

I sit and I ponder and wonder,
what should I do with this impulse?
I have an urge strong as thunder
that pounds in my heart and pulse!

Savage is the overwhelming privation
that I reach out for two star fires
but they are forever in obfuscation;
however, they remain Icons of my Desire.

I wish to hurt no one any more
and fear opening the wrong door.
I have always been a tortured soul,
a broken heart, so my choice is clear.

I must open neither door to them
and keep my heart encased in ice.
This near impossible task is no gem
and I am filled with fear and vice.

I wake with every dream,
and think of those two men…
and how I can not ever seem
to forget and move on from them.

Just me venting

Posted in Actual blog - not literary on May 16, 2009 by Blood Red

Life goes round and round and round and I’m struggling to keep up.  I do the best I can but I can feel myself slipping… I’m just not as strong as I thought I was. I’m weak, I give into some impulses… I’m just struggling to keep my head above water at this point.  So many are counting on me to take good care of them and I’m trying so hard… I know I’m still dissappointing them all though, just as I am myself.

I know that half the time, torturing myself is what keeps me going but now, I’m kind of too tortured… and I’m really starting to feel the pain.  My heart and soul has been broken for some time and now they are bleeding again… Why can’t I be stronger?

Okay, I guess vent session over…  I’m going to go sulk and watch TV – try to dissappear for a while… hoping to get a tattoo in a month or so… thinking the three-scar heart might be on the menu if I’m still feeling this way by then…  Love can sometimes be the slowest form of suicide…

The Gateway to Hell

Posted in Uncategorized on May 15, 2009 by Blood Red

We were all standing on the banks of the River of Immortality.  It was the strangest and most beautiful River I’d ever seen!  It flowed in two directions – upstream would take you to Heaven.  When one looked in that direction, beautiful willow trees leaned over the River, providing a sweet smelling veil as one traveled in their boat toward eternal Love.  The light cast from that side of the River was bright and white but never blinding.  A surreal sense of Peace and Calm pervaded over that part of the River.

However, a short ways downstream was the Waterfall to Hell.  It was the edge of the world and that side of the River was filled with hard, lifeless rock and stinking sulfur, hiding the stench of dead and burning flesh!  It was dark with only a faint cast of an orange glow and screams could be heard over the sound of the thunderous Waterfall.

Satan sat lowly beside our Father, just waiting to grab who it could so that it could cast them over the Waterfall and into the Gateway to Hell…

One by one, I watched those I loved being showed into the Boats toward Heaven, breathing a sigh of relief each time.  A heavenly seraph went to grab my hand but I saw Satan make a move toward you before it was your turn.  I pulled away and demanded it take me and not  you.  Without another word I ran toward the edge of the world to jump over the Waterfall, but you had chased after me and grabbed my hand.  You wanted to know what I was doing and I told you I knew a secret.  I asked for your trust; you slowly nodded.  Hand in hand we both jumped…

What Satan didn’t realize as it laughed watching us jump over the edge, was that it had to cast souls over the Waterfall for them to fall into the Gateway.  If someone jumped themselves, then they flew away…

As the morning broke, I could hear the sirens wail and paramedics talking to a doctor over their radio….  I kept asking for my family and for you.  No one would answer me.  I was wheeled on the stretcher into an emergency semiprivate room and in a couple minutes you were brought to the ER bed next to me.  I looked at you and you looked over to me…

I remembered the River of Immortality. I remembered those that had departed toward Heaven.  And I remembered our jump, our leap of faith.  So here we are, to begin again…